Exoskeletal Surgery?

Prompted by the Jewish New Year, I have embarked not only my self but my family on a journey towards greater engagement with the outside world, i.e. our community.

They say change starts on the inside. I disagree. I think it starts on the outside and slowly burrows into your insides.

So we no longer spend our weekends hermiting, reading and lazing about. We are trying on for size things like:

1. Joining a shul and going to Shabbat services, at least every other Shabbat. NOT at a regular brick-and-mortar synagogue (comes complete with expensive rabbi and staff and mortgage bonds) -- but at the Fabrangen havura (fellowship) in D.C. My husband dug out his tallit bag and kipa, and off we went.

Luckily one doesn't even have to "dude up the duds" to go to these services; shlumpy is kosher. They take their Torah portion seriously - even discuss it. But no one pries into your personal level of observance. Plus they have a great smorgasbord after services. And above all, they open their High Holiday services to all comers. I cannot and will not join any synagogue that sells (expensive!!) tickets to worship. To me this is anti-Jewish and just plain offensive.

Fabrangen seem like a marvelous bunch of people. Warm, welcoming, unpretentious, smart, well-informed, and terrific singers to boot. Services are member-led, and the music runs the gamut from Hasidic to Sephardic to mainstream,depending on who's leading.

Highly recommend them if you are DC area Jewish and like your Judaism straight up, without any dollops of social/economic pretension. (If you're joining a synagogue to make business connections, this probably isn't the right place.)

2. Participating in and even leading school community activities. I agreed to co-chair a parent committee to do good works in the larger DC community. At the time I attributed that to a momentary bout of lunacy, but so far it's working out better than I'd imagined. My co-chair and eye see eye to eye. Last month I ran an event to raise money for a local homeless/indigent service provider and got 150 people to sign up, which was a huge success at this small school. We raised several thousand dollars and garnered lots of kudos. I also got approached about a new job. Note to self: casting one's bread upon the waters really does work! (Slow learner but not hopeless)

3. Getting exercise as a family. We've done hikes and walks in the beautiful fall weather, and bowled on less nice days. My husband's love affair with the Sunday paper continues unabated but he has been more or less willing to put it down and get outside for part of the day. Even he can see that it's much better for a growing child than sitting inside all day in one's jammies, writing and drawing till the cows come home. He's even using the gym at work a couple of times a week (gasp!!!!). We'll never stop preferring a good book to a good run, but we can try to balance it a bit better.

I feel quite proud of me and of my family for making these changes. Keeping it up will be a challenge - New Year's resolutions are notoriously short of lifespan. It would be so terribly easy to go back to eremitic sloth as a total lifestyle choice. This past weekend we had to grit our teeth to get ourselves out to services and then to a community event on Sunday. Once bad weather kicks in, I imagine it will get even harder. I don't know at what point external changes begin to burrow past the derma and into the viscera. But I promise to report periodically and honestly on our progress, hoping always to manage two steps forward for every one step back.